Kane and Lynch: The Best Kind of Failure

By Jakob Johns | Misfit Media Columnist

The story of the Kane and Lynch franchise is hilarious in a sad way – that is, the story surrounding the games. The actual games’ stories are miserable. In 2007, Kane and Lynch: Dead Men was released by IO Interactive; a mediocre third-person cover shooter with unlikable characters and a derivative crime story inspired by Heat. Gamespot, which had been populated with advertisements for the game leading up to its release (no doubt being paid by IOI and Square Enix to do so), graced the average game with a suitable score: six out of ten. The writer that wrote the review was promptly fired by Gamespot.

Following this controversy, IOI likely knew that their barely-earned sequel would need to bring something more to the table. But what could they really do in the face of competitors like Gears of War and Army of Two – especially when there’s not much one can do to make a third-person cover-shooter unique. IOI’s answer was, for some reason, to make their cover-shooter an art game. And I’m so damn glad they did.

Now, before you accuse me of having awful taste, allow me to assure you that I possess self-awareness, because you’re correct of course. I do have awful taste. But, I am very aware of what these games can be like when successful. Max Payne 3 and Hotline Miami in particular are far more successful versions of the game Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days attempts to be. If you’ve played Kane and Lynch 2 before, I’m very sorry. If you haven’t, then please open the following screenshot on a phone and proceed to shake it like a choccy milk. By doing so, you’ll experience a fraction of what this no-good game has to offer.

Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days (2010)

Visually, the game mimics the found-footage genre in order to make the player feel as though they’re watching a LiveLeak video. It’s pixelated, shaky, and most environmental colours are washed out while the neon signs of Shanghai drip across the screen and obscure your view. Don’t you dare try to get anywhere in a hurry, because every time you sprint you’ll find your camera violently shaking as though it were a GoPro attached to a dog. There isn’t even an escape when you close your eyes, since the game’s soundtrack is mostly “industrial horror ambience” – which is a fancy way of saying it’s just a bunch of creepy noises.

The game goes for a mere four hours, and there are no desirable reasons to replay it. The story is incredibly brief and wholly bleak. Kane and Lynch, our unlikable and unrelatable heroes, screw up an arms deal and have to escape Shanghai; end of story. The game starts with little warning and, infamously, ends with zero closure as the main characters simply hijack a plane and exit the story. The villains are morally indistinguishable from the thugs we play as, who care incredibly little about the chaos that follows them into crowded streets, and there’s no salvation or sympathy to be found for anyone.

I played the game, which encourages co-op gameplay, with a friend. We weren’t friends for much longer afterwards. Together, we made it about halfway through the game before he abandoned it out of disgust. It was following the scene in which the main characters are tortured and forced to run through the city naked and bleeding, so his departure was understandable. For some reason, I decided to persist.

Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days (2010)

The gameplay is often frustrating at best. The cover system is sticky and the guns have an awful spread on them that makes it difficult to hit anything that isn’t in spitting distance. As a result, the only real reason to persist is for the visuals and story – which as you now know, are as ugly as the heroes’ personalities. So, why did I keep going, you might ask? Well, because this game fascinates me. When games fail today, it’s often out of laziness, greed, or bad sentiment. Look at all the terrible experiences that ruin franchise-long legacies by being lazy, monetised messes (Halo, Mass Effect, and Call of Duty anyone?). They’re often generic and want nothing more than to betray your trust for a quick buck.

But Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days tried something different. It decided to be terrible. It actively tried to challenge the player by cultivating an oppressive environment and forcing the player to consider whether they truly enjoyed committing violent actions or not. Early in the game, during the first shootout, the characters chase down a drug dealer with a prostitute hostage. My friend and I joked that we were going to be evil and shoot the hostage – only for Kane and Lynch to actually do that. Then, the drug dealer slit his own throat. It wasn’t funny anymore; it was just creepy and harrowing. I joked that the game was like a neo-noir: morally ambiguous. My friend replied: “there’s nothing ambiguous about this!”

Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days (2010)

I’m not going to actually recommend this game to you. I’d recommend Max Payne 3 and Hotline Miami instead since they actually contain exciting gameplay and interesting stories. But, I’m glad Kane and Lynch 2 exists nonetheless. After all, didn’t it do what it set out to do? It wants you to have a bad time – and boy did I love having one.

The game will never get a sequel, since IOI lost the rights after splitting off from Square Enix. Instead, they’re focusing on Hitman and a new unnamed James Bond project. There is only one thing you can do if you want Kane and Lynch closure: find their character cameos in Hitman: Absolution, where you can just shoot them if you like. Unceremonious and sudden, which is exactly what these characters deserve.